I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
