ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
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