Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
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I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
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I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life