Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
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Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
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on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...