My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line