so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
