Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on