I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The 33 Worst Things Men Have Said While Hitting On Women
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."