If i come over, it means nothing
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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