Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
