So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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