i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
