real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you will always have a special place in my vag
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Randomize
