drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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