I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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