His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
