I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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