I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
