And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
