I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
