apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
