Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
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she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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