I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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