I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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