Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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