I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
