Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
