I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
