i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
