i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize