he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
