Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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