Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Alive.
So much puke
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
