forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
