Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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