my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
