Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
