i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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