She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
