I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while Iβm over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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