Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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