We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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