No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
