Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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