Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
