TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
