who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
