So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
