i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
