let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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