Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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