Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
