I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
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A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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