Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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