I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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