you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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