i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
