This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
