Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
