Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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