cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize