dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
