After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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