Plan B is the new Plan A
so explain again why im purple
no
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
