hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
